J a n u a r y 2 0 0 7
Dear Elkie Deadman at Wishes and Dishes in
's-Hertogenbosch (the charming Dutch city) has asked Emily to come along to one of her functions and sing. But Miss Barlaston had to refuse. How could she possibly go to a railway station and ask for a return ticket to
's-Hertogenbosch? Why, she can't even pronounce
's-Hertogenbosch!
At The Angel Downstairs, Islington, Miss Emily Barlaston will be starring in her new revue, entitled There's a Diva
in My Soup, freely adapted from Dame Janet Quaker's sensational bodice-ripping novella What's This Prima Donna Doing in my Bouillon?
Emily has graciously agreed to take part as special adjudicator (with casting vote) in the finals of the United Kingdom round of the International Cocktail Shaking Bartenders in Bell-bottom Dungarees at Cardiff University.
F e b r u a r y 2 0 0 7
Miss Barlaston will be taking up the cudgels
on behalf of moderation in the B.B.C. Radio 3
Old Queen Mary Debate on "Five Hundred
Uses for a Viola Player" at the Prince of Wales
Real Ale Carvery at Nobottle, Northamptonshire.
A short lecture recital, called Religion and Democracy in China, preceded by short extracts from some Jackie Chan films. Because of the demand for tickets at least year's event, interested parties are advised to come early (the price of admission includes all the spring rolls you can eat in under five minutes).
Hoof & Van Hoof Produkties of Eindhoven very kindly offered Miss Barlaston a singing engagement at one of their most fashionable "do's" - don't you think that's ever so nice?
Dear Tibor Damen at CUSTOMIZE Events in Breda invited Miss Barlaston to sing at the pulchritudinous Hotel van Oranje.
The Albeda College in Rotterdam threw a wonderful working lunch, and Emily was honoured to provide the musical entertainment, in collaboration with Theaterbureau Paul Wijtvliet and Bernard Zegers of Qbus, Apeldoorn. The fortepiano accompaniment was provided by the accomplished accompanist Mr. Marcel van Oisterwijk.
M a r c h 2 0 0 7
Miss Jolanda Tubee of The Agency in Hilversum wanted Miss Barlaston to launch a new Mercedes model at
Hengelo - but really, climbing on new cars at Emily's age
is the beginning of a slippery slope, what do you think?
At the behest of the Lord Lieutenant of Essex, Miss Barlaston will be leading the background scat singing during the launching party of Burton-on-Trent Library's annual amateur photographic exhibition: They Don't
Shoot People, Do They? This event is being repeated despite enormous public demands.
"Les vins ordinaires versus les vins classique" - a
lunchtime rectal at Sainsbury's drive-through
supermarket at St. Helen's, Lancashire. This
annual event is NOT to be missed!
A p r i l 2 0 0 7
Dead Man Walking - Emily shall be attending a fund-raiser for the operetta version of this magnificent film at the London offices of Dom Perignon.
Miss Barlaston has been invited to appear during a pre-Easter conference week at the Venusberg in Bonn. That's in Germany, you know!
M a y 2 0 0 7
Theatrical Agency EventZ Nederland (located in downtown Drunen) invited Miss Barlaston to appear in her one-lady-show (entitled One Lady Show) all through the month of May for Rabobank. You know, the bank...
Famous Enschede musician Freddy Golden asked Emily if she would marry him. Well, he did mention something about an engagement and a wedding!
J u n e 2 0 0 7
On the 22 June, our favourite nightingale has been asked by the multi-talented Dutch soprano Claudia Patacca to take part in a charity hop in aid of Lions BOCA in the metropolitan cathedral of Oldenzaal - how nice!
Keep your fingers crossed - at some point during
this month Emily will be doing an audition for a part
in the B.B.C. prime-time programme Tightrope
Walking With the Stars - and without the aid of a
hairnet...
The dangers of ageism - a discussion between
Miss Emily Barlaston and some probably really,
really silly students at Throttle Bay Sixth-Form
College, at Pwllheli, North Wales.
J u l y 2 0 0 7
During the hot summer season Emily plans to motor down for a couple of engagements at the Olala Ummi Gummi Theatre Festival in Lienz, Austria, where she will be taking part in comic capers with a host of international talent...
Miss Barlaston will be the maîtresse of ceremonies for Boiled Beef and Carrots versus Really Hot Curry - an intercommunity spectacular right in the heart of London's very own East End of London. Be there!
A u g u s t 2 0 0 7
At Kook, London's new top-class Japanese sushi restaurant at the Imperial War Museum, Emily will be demonstrating some of her cooking skills with assistance from the new Cockney girl band, the Space Girls.
If I Can't Take It With Me When I Go, I Just Ain't
Gonna Go - do NOT miss this chance to see our own
Miss Barlaston present her One-Lady Show, culminating
in a breathtaking dance finale with the Chelsea Pensioners' Mixed Voice Sweet Adeline A Capella Unison Chorus.
S e p t e m b e r 2 0 0 7
The ladies of B&S Event Innovators, an elegantly charming theatrical agency in Amstelveen, have offered Miss Barlaston no less than three engagements during the month of September: Almere, Maastricht and climaxing in the culturally uplifting Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.
From Nationale Nederlanden: an invitation to
perform at the Euromast in Rotterdam!
O c t o b e r 2 0 0 7
Your favourite great-aunt has been invited to chair the open auditions for the new July-Anne Clairy musical Drugs, Rebirth and Mushy Peas at the Tate Modern. If you aren't able to sing at least as well Gwynneth Paltry, then please DON'T waste our time, as we shall have an AWFUL lot of
rubbish to get through...
One has been invited as guest of honour at the Café de Paris in Oldham, Lancs., for the Altrincham Girl Guides' new Cabaret Revue, entitled Brownie Points - conducted by my old friends Anthea Theodora Thipthorpthwaite and Elspeth Speever!
After a recital of some of Cecil Sharpe's rural gatherings, I shall be adjudicating the welly-chucking competition at Jesus Pieces during the Cambridgeshire Folk Festival - watch out for those Maurice Dancers!
N o v e m b e r 2 0 0 7
You show me yours and I'll show you mine - this is the rather modernistic title of a new trades fair for stamp collectors and their dealers: Emily will be providing a special cabaret in the rôle of Penny Black, the famous perforated lady who showed the Victorian Postmaster General what was what... the entrance fee (at Ullerton's chic Son et Lumière Ice Dome) is purely nominal!
Miss Barlaston will be providing some humorously
musical interludes at this year's "Glitter and be Goy" Festival in the Golders Green Municipal Library's
Aula Minima.
D e c e m b e r 2 0 0 7
What Christmas celebration is complete without an appearance by our sherry-loving prima donna?
Well, dashing impressario Jos Heijs invited her to
come to Spain to take part in a couple of very
special Yuletide concerts...
Mr. Adriaan Grandia (you all know him of
insisted on having Miss Barlaston to appear in Joop Braakhekke's intimate theatre "in back of" (as our American cousins would say) his fashionable Amsterdam restaurant Le Garage.
Ms. Elisabeth Oets, famed wife, mother and chanteuse d'opéra, has invited Emily to appear in a Christmas extra-vaganza at a very special ladies' club!
And to bring in the New Year: an invitation from the famous firm of Sotheby's (the Amsterdam branch) - and a chance to go under the hammer!
