J a n u a r y 2 0 0 6
England's only trampolining prima donna (retired) starts off the New Year at Amsterdam's primate venue Hotel de l'Europe with a Hogmanay Come-One-Come-All.
An invitation from the National Gallery of Scotland to provide the musical background to an exhibition of Dresden dolls made by Borstal inmates - followed by a silver collection at the door to cover costs.
Motrac Intern Transport of Apeldoorn were kind enough to offer Miss Barlaston the option of a performance of her one-lady show (which, as you know, is entitled One Lady Show) not only at the end of January.......
F e b r u a r y 2 0 0 6
.......but also at the beginning of February. Well, wasn't that really nice of them?
At the Floral Hall, Covent Garden, an evening of impromptu improvisation of songs and poetry - application forms may be obtained from Ms. Mavis Davies, Pottidge Cottage, Hawcett, Dorset... please enclose a stamped, self-addressed and sealed thingummywhatsit.
One has been invited to adjudicate the open-mike evening at the Smirking Hippopotamus Cabaret, Selfridge's Basement, Llandain, in Welsh Wales.
M a r c h 2 0 0 6
Miss Barlaston sings a top C to give the go-ahead for the annual St. Patrick's Day clay-pigeon shooting at Mile End Observatory.
Somwhere Over the Rainbow - a perfect song to accompany the sale of Miss Judy Garland's green velvet dress from "A Star is Born" - I wonder if it would fit you-know-who?
The Irish Chamber Orchestra (under 20's group) will be giving a potted version of Mendelsohn's Elijah, in which yours truly sings the taxing solo O Rust in the Lord with the new vocal group "The Sixty-Something Mezzo Sopranos".
A p r i l 2 0 0 6
An engagement with Buro Paul Wijtvliet.
An engagement with Qbus of Apeldoorn.
And yet again, a pleasure indeed to be asked back to Hotel de l'Europe in Amsterdam (it's by the water, as you see). It was my job to entertain a group of secretaries - and some of them were men, too...
An engagement with Rijn Yssel College, Arnhem. One was awarded top marks!
An engagement with Hotel de Nieuwe Wereld, Wageningen - phew! What a busy month! Hardly a moment to breathe!
M a y 2 0 0 6
Once AGAIN (well, I never DID!) - back to dear old Hotel de l'Europe to entertain some top Army brass and their wives. There were a few generals there, but no lady soldiers. Is this a good thing, one asks oneself?
Buro Paul Wijtvliet (invitation).
Jan Swinkels (invitation).
A very nice invitation to perform one's One Lady Show at The Bear Hotel, Hungerford, England - now this is a rather famous hotel, as Henry the Eigth Eitgh Eitgh Eihgth VIII and Elizabeth the First often sleep here.
An option for The Agency. They are an agency. That's why they call themselves The Agency!
An invitation from those nice people at Pon.
My dear friend Eva van Dixhoorn asked me to entertain at her very special birthday party... of course, discretion forbids me from mentioning her age. Suffice it to say: the next day, she felt a year older!
J u n e 2 0 0 6
Buro Paul Wijtvliet - an invitation.
Qbus of Apeldoorn - likewise.
At the King's Head Tavern in Battersea, a lunchtime recital entitled "Boiled Beef and Carrots" with all you can eat for free (provided you keep one hand behind your back). Please bring a damp cloth as you know how it is...
J u l y 2 0 0 6
An option from Paul Wijtvliet.
Van Hoof & Van Hoof Produkties - in Eindhoven, you do remember, don't you? - have asked one to keep three days free for a very exciting event in Cologne, Germany. Why the Germans insist on calling it Köln I will never know. And the Dutch call it Keulen! Perhaps it's just to confuse football hooligans...
At 7 p.m. on the evening of Sunday, 9th July, Emily will have the honour (and indeed pleasure) of presenting her one-lady show as the climax on the last evening of Straatfestival Vlissingen at the Bellamy Park in Flushing. This is the Flushing in the Netherlands, not the Flushing in the U.S.A. Which probably accounts for the fact that the Dutch call it Vlissingen. Entrance is free, so there's no excuse at all for you not to be there!
A u g u s t 2 0 0 6
Miss Barlaston presented a very special performance of her show An Evening Under the Awning in Arnhem - thanks for the lovely night, Antonio!
Drop everything and make sure you attend the symposium on carpool tunnel syndrome at Sydenham Synoptic Coptic Church Hall. There will be refreshments afterwards, with special cutlery for those who need to get a grip.
Buro Paul Wijtvliet have offered me an option. Well, not an option as such, more like two half options, one in August, and the other in ---
S e p t e m b e r 2 0 0 6
--- the following month. I can't wait to find out the details!
I was thrilled and excited to be asked to appear in my One Lady Show in the charming town of Poznañ, which is in Poland. Unfortunately it just can't be fitted in, as one is involved in ---
--- performances of Massenet's opera Manon - no, not the one by Puccini, that one's called Manon Lescaut; Massenet called his version Manon to avoid confusion with Manon Lescaut, which is by Puccini - where was I? - oh yes... the lovely opera Manon (by Puccini) on tour with the Nationale Rijstopera. I shall be taking the part of Madame Partlette, the devout though fussy pew-opener in the St. Sulpice scene. It's rather a small part, so don't even think of having a snooze after the interval!
Margaret of Hotel de l'Europe (in Amsterdam) inquired if I was available for Thijs Brans's retirement party. Well of course I was, and I said so - and was deeply thrilled to be introduced to Mr. Adrian van Dis... SUCH a gentleman!
O c t o b e r 2 0 0 6
Your favourite great-aunt has been invited to chair the open auditions for the new July-Anne Clairy musical Drugs, Rebirth and Mushy Peas at the Tate Modern. If you aren't able to sing at least as well Gwynneth Paltry, then please DON'T waste our time, as we shall have an AWFUL lot of rubbish to get through...
I have been invited as guest of honour at the Café de Paris in Oldham, Lancs., for the Altrincham Girl Guides' new Cabaret Revue, entitled Brownie Points - conducted by my old friends Anthea Theodora Thipthorpthwaite and Elspeth Speever!
After a recital of some of Cecil Sharpe's rural gatherings, I shall be adjudicating the welly-chucking competition at Jesus Pieces during the Cambridgeshire Folk Festival - watch out for those Maurice Dancers!
N o v e m b e r 2 0 0 6
D-Age Management of Amersfoort have been so obliging as to offer one an option...
It's such an honour to be asked to attend the premiere of the Magnus Magnussen musical James Bondo and the Gin And It Girl - with drinky-poos and things on little sticks afterwards, I'll be bound!
World of Pleasure sent me a lovely invitation to take part in a theatrical evening in a place called Etten-Leur-Stelling.
V.H. & V.H.P. in E. - can you guess? - have offered me a lovely option.
Oooh! An invitation to sing Mozart at Amsterdam's top-notch Amstel Hotel. This is where dear Lillibet stays when she's visiting the Venice of the North.
D e c e m b e r 2 0 0 6
The Brazilian Carnival Come-One-Come-All will be "happening" at the former Grimsby Slipper Baths Auditorium - all proceeds to go to the victims of the Llandudno Fashion Week scare.
"A Legend in her Own Living Room" - Miss Barlaston launches the new biography of the divine diva Adrenaline Patty for Tyll Di Books, Swansea.
Not one, but two charming invitations from dear Paul Wijtvliet (of Arnhem, don't you know).
Miss Barlaston was honoured to be asked by Stunnenberg Graphics to present an evening of thrills, spills and cabaret at "Onderling Genoegen" Cultural Centre in Duiven.
Emily was thrilled (yet again) to be invited by MotracLinde (the fork lift truck people) to entertain at a very special Christmas party... but why do they need trucks to lift forks?
Now, not a word to anyone, you understand? But at the moment one is involved with negotiations for a super-duper performance of Uma noite sô em companhia de senhorita Emily Barlaston, O.B.E. in Portugal. In view of the unfortunate demise of the English team at the hands of the Portuguese during the World Cup (we was robbed!) it is probably politic not to mention it at all. If all goes well, the same show in Spain should go down a treat! But more details will follow, if and when. In the meantime, Mum's the word. She sends her love, by the way...
