J a n u a r y 2 0 0 4
A special appearance for Pon Holdings at the sumptuous Villa De Duinen, Noordwyk
A very kind invitation from Hewlett Packard to provide an evening's entertainment
Emily Barlaston will be again blowing the whistle for National Doughnut's third annual Full Continental Breakfast Hotel Crawl, with special stops at Covent Garden, Knightsbridge, Mayfair, South Kensington and Wembley Underground stations
F e b r u a r y 2 0 0 4
Entertaining at the "Sassendonkse Heerenzitting" at Buitensociëteit, Zwolle (option)
Great news! Our favourite prima donna's autobiography, Mi mi mi mi mi, has been nominated for the British Book Awards by a sizeable number of people in Bahrain. It's probably not too late to vote!
M a r c h 2 0 0 4
A commission from Planet Event to mount Emily's One Lady Show at Golden Tulip Hotel in Zaltbommel (for Spiriva, the asthma company)
An invitation from dear Mr. Grandia of Hôtel de l'Europe in Amsterdam to appear at a very important V.I.P. party
A p r i l 2 0 0 4
Pulling the balls during the fun Bingo session at a Press Conference in Het Bölke in Enschede, in connection with the forthcoming Netherlands National Pink Saturday celebrations
An invitation to sing in Amsterdam from the Arjan van Dijk Group (option)
A special request from Buro Paul Wijtvliet to appear in her own One Lady Show at Interpolis, Tilburg
Emily was the star attraction at the opening of opening of "Tiliander" - the new Cultural Centre of Oisterwijk
Emily topped the bill and tipped the scales at AKI-Festival "Eyewonder" - her most successful heavy rock engagement to date
M a y 2 0 0 4
A top secret appearance at Mrs. Dervla Murphy's 95th Birthday Party at the High Dependancy Unit of the Mater Informorum Hospital, Dublin (don' tell her about it, it's going to be a BIG surprise!)
For the politically-correct male feminists among us: Emily will be chairing a discussion of the Bermondsey Plasterers' Lunchtime Literary Group of The Shorn Woman: or Baldness in Calvinistic Ladies of a Certain Age by "A Gentleman." Please do not forget to bring your own sandwiches, as omission to do so may subject certain group associates to some unpleasantnesses, as witness the serious set-to's at the Schubert Singalong Song Cycle Concert at the Lady Mayoress of Cirencester's Civic Reception last September
Miss Barlaston presents the first of her Sunday Soirée Salsa Sessions upstairs at Ronny Scot's (in secret) as part of Miss Sixsmith's sister-in-law's mother's surprise seventy-seventh birthday celebrations
J u n e 2 0 0 4
Van Hoof & van Hoof Productions, Eindhoven (option)
Miss Barlaston will be performing her One Lady Show under a Doctors' Congress in the Netherlands
On 26 June, Miss Barlaston will be presenting her One Lady Show for an AIDS benefit at Het Bolwerk, the oldest public house in Enschede, the Netherlands
A special appearance (under the legendary Miss Hetty Blok) at the absolutely gorgeous Hôtel de l'Europe in Amsterdam
A musical extravaganza: Miss Barlaston will be presenting the opening of her new recital programme, The Real Lady's Guide to the Proper Holding of a Champagne Glass (with works by Bach, Bacharach and Bricusse) in the Main Auction Room at Christie's, London, before taking it on tour to the Bristol Academy, the Birmingham Academy, and Shepherd's Bush Empire. The Real Lady's Guide to the Proper Holding of a Champagne Glass is, of course, the working title of the show (still in the throes of composition). It may well end up being called Bottoms Up!
J u l y 2 0 0 4
Artiestenburo Kunstenaars (3 options)
A little tour to the Continent: the Fashion Council of Andorra will be holding a musical Champagne Reception in which Emily will present the premiere (for the first time) of the original version of Moses Supposes His Toeses are Roses, with accompaniment of cello and viola da scampi.
Special adjudicator (with casting vote) for the finals of the United Kingdom round of the Cocktail Shaking Bartenders in Bell-bottom Dungarees at Cardiff University.
A u g u s t 2 0 0 4
Yet again, Miss Barlaston has been extended an invitation to return to Amsterdam's Hôtel de l'Europe - pulchritudinosity par excellence - for a repeat performance of her new one-lady-show, entitled Don't, Miss Emily!
Emily launches her new series of lunchtime Musical experiments in the cellar of the Prince Albert pub in Hackney High Road (London) with the first act of How Trying! - the potted version (for one retired soprano) of the show How to Succeed in Show-Business Without Really Trying
S e p t e m b e r 2 0 0 4
Surprise appearance at a certain local politician's retirement party in Hilversum - he doesn't know he's retiring yet, so one must maintain a certain level of discretion in this matter, mustn't one?
A short lecture recital, called "Religion and Democracy in China" preceded by short extracts from some Jackie Chan films
Theaterburo Paul Wijtvliet (option)
Dutch Royal Navy Band (invitation)
O c t o b e r 2 0 0 4
Background scat singing during the launching party of Burton-on-Trent Library's annual amateur photographic exhibition: They Don't Shoot People, Do They?
Not to be missed: on 18 October, Emily will be making her sensational debut in the B.B.C.'s ongoing drama series EastEnders (her contract forbids her from referring to it as a Soap Opera). She can be seen behind a copy of "Woman's Weekly" in the launderette, and later on sipping a sherry at the bar of the Queen Vic (behind the bust of Queen Victoria). There is also talk of the possibility of a scene in the Post Office, but at the moment this is the subject on intense negotiations at Broadcasting House
A special Mistress-of-Ceremonies appearance at the Dutch Rockarty Festival (invitation)
N o v e m b e r 2 0 0 4
"Les vins ordinaires versus les vins classique" - a lunchtime rectal at Sainsbury's drive-through supermarket at St. Helen's, Lancashire
To celebrate 50 years of the union between Linde AG and Motrac Interna Transport, Emily presents her One Lady Show at the famous Rembrandt Tower in Amsterdam (organised by B and S Leads)
"Britain's next Labour Prime Minister? - Miss Emily Barlaston chews the fat with Boris Johnson" - possibly the first of a series of informal political interviews held at the Savoy Grill (turn sharp right at Charing Cross). Questions may be submitted in advance by those having full lunch (not just tea and cakes)
Theaterburo Paul Wijtvliet (invitation)
When conductor Jaap van Zweden needed a retired Prima Donna to help him celebrate the 100th anniverday of the famous Residentie Orchestra in The Hague, guess who he asked! (Or should that be "whom"?)
Miss Barlaston was particularly honoured by being invited to appear at Amsterdam's luscious Hôtel de l'Europe to entertain their Imperial Worships the Ambassadors of Great Britain and Malta - and one hasn't a thing to wear!
D e c e m b e r 2 0 0 4
Those dear people at B and S Leads have asked Miss Barlaston to provide some more of her tasteful entertainment in Amsterdam
A New Year's Party with a difference: Emily will be Mistress of Ceremonies in the Harry Lauder Lookalike Hogmanay Hootenanny in London's prestigious venue The Black Cat in Campden. Kilts must be worn!
Pon Holdings have asked Emily if she will be the surprise guest at a lavish Christmas Party at select Harderwijk restaurant "Olviio"
Brazilian Carnival Come-One-Come-All at the former Grimsby Slipper Baths Auditorium - all proceeds to go to the victims of the Llandudno Fashion Week scare
Janus Smalbraak has invited our favourite Prima Donna to entertain at his Yuletide Party at the luscious Amsterdam Festivity Docks
Planet Event - an invitation to perform her One Lady Show in Breda, the Netherlands
Dead Man Walking - Emily shall be attending a fund-raiser for the operetta version of this magnificent film at the London office of Dom Perignon
